i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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