Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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