I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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