we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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