vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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