mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It was like giving head to a cactus.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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