dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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