come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize