WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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