Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
His nipple licking is glorious
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