I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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