Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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