Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
