Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
