Just fell off a train. Bad.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
