i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
