You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
