The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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