Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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