btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
