Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
