wanna go halves on a baby?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
