i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Every concussion has its silver lining
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
