I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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