I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
