I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
