oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
