Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
