I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
