Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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