i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What drink are we having for lunch?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize