And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
