I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
