oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
