Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize