I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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