You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
