Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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