He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
