508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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