I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
