its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I love you. Go after that dick
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize