I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
