There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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