Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
