I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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