that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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