Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
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Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol