WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
