The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just forgot I was standing up.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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