His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
