she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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