easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
