Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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