Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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