somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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