you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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