If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Randomize
